Cole Sear: I see jerkish authors.
Malcolm Crowe: In your dreams?
[Cole shakes his head no]
Malcolm Crowe: While you're awake?
Malcolm Crowe: Jerkish authors like, on twitter? On Goodreads?
Cole Sear: Walking around stalking regular people. They don't see each other. They only see what they want to see. They don't know they're jerks.
Malcolm Crowe: How often do you see them?
Cole Sear: All the time. Right now. This week. They're everywhere.
Note: no disrespect to the vast majority of reasonable and non-jerkish authors is intended. This one is for Kathleen Hale, John Grisham, Margo Howard, Richard Ford, Alice Hoffman, Richard Brittain (and if I end up in the hospital, we'll all know whodunnit) and the grandmother of all jerkish authors she-who-must-not-be-named-because-she-will-sicc-her-fans-on-me-but-who-wrote-that-really-popular-vampire-book.